One time my family went to IHOP and my brother got a burger with fries and it had two containers on it. He just assumed they were both full of ketchup so without looking he dipped a fry into one and put it in his mouth. He went through the 5 stages of grief in less than 2 seconds because he realized he had just put a huge dollop of mayonnaise in his mouth. He looked fucked up for the rest of that dinner tbh. 

Like do you even comprehend how traumatizing it is to take a bite into a sandwich you think is going to taste like heaven and you just get a mouth full of mayo.

You could swap a photo of the person I’m into with a photo of a jar of Hellmann’s and it wouldn’t make a difference

On the topic of mayo, the guy at SuperFi put too much on my hero. A horrifying amount of mayo on both sides. Like who hurt him this much that he thought the amount of mayonnaise he put on my hero was acceptable.